Forgiveness. Uh oh!

The Gospel for last Sunday is a toughie. Forgiveness. Seven times seventy. Of course what Jesus meant is that there should be no end to our willingness to forgive those who sin against us. And a parable that says, and if you can’t do it, that is “forgive from the heart,” the Father will “hand you over.”

I’m in big trouble. In the first place, I can’t pull off that kind of forgiveness. And in the second place, I can’t believe God is that cruel.

My primary difficulty in the area of forgiveness is with those who have harmed me, but not only have not asked for forgiveness, but feel completely justified in what they have done. I’m not talking about the day to day kind of stuff. I can forgive all that. Hell, I screw up. I recognize it and I ask forgiveness. So I’m very able to see the frailty in others that results in their needing my forgiveness. So I can give it. Truly. From the heart.

But there have been those few who have irrevocably done me harm. Not many. Just enough. Those who had no clue they were doing it—no problem. It’s those who understood, or should have understood, that they were going to cause me serious harm and acted anyway. And felt righteous. Or indifferent. I’m stuck. I just can’t seem to find it in my heart to forgive them.
Which, as you can see, brings me to the second point. If I am to believe Jesus, then I am in deep crap. Maybe that’s why I just can’t believe God would be as Jesus describes him in this regard. In fact, the God I’m trying to believe in and have a relationship with would easily understand my human frailty and inadequacy and love me anyway. Perhaps that’s what I chose to believe since I can’t get past these other situations and it’s my “ace in the hole.” But I don’t really think so. I think God is not that kind of petty record keeper who is expecting us to show up with a clean record. If so, I’m in much worse trouble than I thought. And what is grace for anyway?

Peace?

Jerry+