Blindness

Sunday’s Gospel reading was about the man born blind that Jesus healed with dirt and spit. Let’s zero in on one piece of the reading though—the piece about blame.

It begins with Jesus’ followers wanting to know who sinned, the man or his parents, that he was born blind. It’s followed by the religious leaders dismissing Jesus as a sinner because he performs the healing on the Sabbath, a clear violating of the no work on the Sabbath rule. Then the parents are accused of lying about his blindness, and what do they do, they say “Ask him. He’s an adult.” (Not exactly blame, but shifting some responsibility. They didn’t want to anger the religious leaders so it was best not to answer.)

Ever since Adam said, “It wasn’t me; it was that woman you (emphasis mine) gave me,” people habitually have been looking for some way to make somebody else responsible for actions. When I did couple counseling for a living, almost without exception, the couple each wanted to blame their partner for everything that was wrong. Oh, I might hear somebody start by saying, “I know I’m not perfect.” But there was always a “but…” Sometimes I would interrupt and ask, “if you’re not perfect, how are you contributing?” You’ve never seen such sputtering and back-peddling! The last few years of my couple work, after listening to each partner tell me what was wrong with the other, I’d sum up what I’d heard each say, get their buy-in to that, and then say, “Well, the reality seems to be nobody is righteous.”

This was an awkward moment. When you’re confronted with your own behavior by a third party who has no dog in the fight, it’s hard to keep maintaining your innocence. But people would, of course. And until that battle is won, until each is willing to honestly own up to how far short they fall from being a good mate to the other, we didn’t accomplish much.

Our work is cut out for us. Oh, not to help other people see, but to start seeing ourselves. Only then can we begin to move toward the Christ-like life to which we’ve been called.

Peace,

Jerry+