Flawed Instruments

I had a strange experience Sunday. I preached for one of the last times at the parish when I’ve been for twenty plus years. But that wasn’t what was strange. It was the reaction I got that day and in the several days since.

Usually sermons come pretty easily for me. I read the texts and a few commentaries and then—bang— a place to start or a central theme pops into my head. (I like to think this is the Spirit’s leading, but who can be sure?) Then I start writing and rewriting. I’ll let a draft sit for a few days and pick it up again a couple of times and it all comes together. But now and then, and this sermon was one of those times, I struggle. This time I struggled a lot with the end of the sermon. It just wouldn’t come together. Finally, I had to quit writing and just go with what I had developed. I would say something like this to myself at times like this, “Well, that’s about a B, maybe a B+, but it’s all I’ve got. Can’t hit a home run every time.” Sometimes I even mention to my wife that the sermon just doesn’t feel like my best work.

And that’s how I felt as I climbed into the pulpit Sunday.

But when the service was over and I was greeting people, I heard over and over how meaningful it was. “Jerry, that may have been your best sermon.” “You know, I think that may have been the best I’ve heard you preach.” “That was so meaningful; so helpful.” I was shocked; humbled; perplexed—and pleased, too.

How did that happen? I don’t know. But what I’m left believing is that God isn’t bound by what or how we do things. A phrase popped into my head the other day about myself. I was asking myself what, as my ordained ministry comes to an end and especially as these last difficult years at this parish end, had I learned. The thought (that has found it’s way into the last sermon I will preach here in a couple of weeks) is this: I have learned that even a flawed instrument can play beautiful music in the hands of a master. I think God isn’t bound by my character or my sermonic attempts, flawed as I am. God can touch lives with whatever God chooses to touch lives with. And does. Sunday was my final proof.

So, take heart.

Peace

Jerry+