Red Letter Day

On liturgical calendars, feast days of saints and martyrs are usually marked in red. If there is an Eucharist that day, the stole color is red, as are any hangings. Today is one of those days. June 29 is the Feast Day of Sts. Peter and Paul, commemorating their martyrdom in Rome in the first century.

But today is red letter for a personal reason as well. Forty years ago today, I was ordained an Elder in the United Methodist Church. The memory is vivid and fresh after all this time. While UM clergy are usually ordained as a group each year during the Annual Conference--the yearly meeting of clergy and laity of a given geographical area--the bishop who was in charge at that time of the Memphis Conference wanted to try something different. Bishop Finger was his name and he wanted to ordain people in the local church in from which they had made the decision to enter the ministry or their home church if that was more special to them. So I was ordained by myself at Grace Church in Memphis.

At the time hands were laid on me to ordain me, the Bishop was joined by a United Methodist clergyman, Tom Wilson, and two of my seminary professors: Joe Ben Irby, a Cumberland Presbyterian, and Richard Wolf, an Evangelical Lutheran. Both had taught me Church History. Joe Ben first interested me in the field and Dr. Wolf was my major professor for my M.Div and doctoral work.

About half these forty years were spent in some kind of parish or campus ministry. The other half I was in private practice as a therapist, but that work was shaped by my call. And simultaneously with a good bit of that time, I was an adjunct professor at a seminary. Plus, Sundays often found me teaching in the Christian Ed program of various parishes around town.

I haven't always felt as if I fit in very well in the Church as institution. In fact, I can honestly put it more strongly--I don't think I fit in very well. For one thing, I've never felt particularly as pious as my clergy peers seem to be (I guess pious is the right word), and hence have often been described as "not your usual minister." For another, I've always felt as if the Church as institution functions largely in an irrational way and that bugs me no end. For example, the UMC still moves clergy around as it did during the frontier days when it was a necessity while now it is a huge inconvenience for the clergy, their families and often their parishes. Additionally, the UMC makes these moves in less than rational ways, seldom taking into account the actual gifts of a clergyperson or the actual needs of a parish. That always frustrated me.

On top of all that, those who know me well know that first in 1983 and then again in 2002, I tried to become an Episcopal priest where I feel much more at home. And both times was eventually turned down after promising beginnings. This is a pain I still feel from time to time.

But even with all this said, I have no serious regrets about the decision that started the process toward that special Sunday forty years ago. I felt the Spirit enter my life and work under the hands of those holy men and I continue to feel the Spirit's presence in my life and work in a unique way. It has always been a mystery to me as to why God called me, but I'm thankful to have been called.

Peace,

Jerry+